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Friday, 31 August 2012

Two women spanked in the same house

This weekend my husband and I were invited to stay with our Dd friends HisPrincess and A.

It was lovely, we sat and chatted, we ate lovely food, we went for walks in the local area.

Lovely HP and A encouraged us to stay in their bedroom while they slept in the living room.

Slightly an odd experience.

I tried as hard as I could not to think the following, but nevertheless my overactive imagination was thinking, 'Oh I see, so that is the corner where she is sent to, that is the chair that she is asked to kneel on and that is the desk that she is bent over'.

A even left a cane stood in the corner of the room!!! For what purpose I don't know, perhaps as a deterrent to my wayward behaviour!

In the evening, we sat drinking far too much wine and laughing.

She was on top form, whereas I felt incredibly rebellious!

I think all the pressure to behave and the fear that one of us may be called to task on something in front of the other, meant that we were rather stressed.  As soon as we all went to bed, both of us managed to be rude to our husbands.

HP and A were in the kitchen, HP was rude and A swatted her with the spatula.

Me and the boss man were in the bathroom, I snapped at him, he replied by swatting me a couple of times with his hand.

For some unearthly reason I retorted, 'Ooo that was hard!' - I know, what a wally I am!

He then preceded to turn me around to swat me harder, but I fought against him, knocking the things in the bathroom all over the place.  I am not sure why I fought, he is much stronger than me and I was soon facing the sink as he swatted me very hard.

I was mortified to be spanked in the same house as HP, my dear Dd friend! Alas, something was always going to happen like that!

Friday, 24 August 2012

A Clean House Matters!

Honestly I can not believe I am actually writing this!

I  am already horrified by myself as I write this, and it isn't written yet!

Facts about me to enlighten you as to why I am astonished about the subject I am about to write about:

  • I was raised by feminists and raised to be a feminist - my father was a hippy and didn't discipline me regularly at all, however he was furious when, at the age of 15, I allowed a boy to pay for me on a date!
  • I went to an all girls school - A world where women were capable of every career, where being a wife and mother was never really mentioned.  I went to school alongside future politicians, doctors and lawyers.  In school hymns, where the rest of Christian society was singing 'Onward brothers onward', my school sang, 'onward sisters onward!'  All teachers who were married were known as Ms, so that they were not perceived as being 'chained down' by the name of their husbands.
  • Journalism and politics were my life.  Just three years ago I was on BBC Radio 5 and BBC 1's Question Time debating politics with key politicians, in addition to writing about human rights violations in the national press - I was not a wife and mother, cleaning and cooking diligently!  
Before Dd this is who I was.
Or perhaps  before marriage and a child? Who knows, most likely it is a bit of both!

So to be sat here debating the reasons why having a clean and tidy house for when my husband comes home from work, is astonishing!

I know he is happy when he gets in from work to find a clean house.  I asked him why and he said. "It shows that everything is flowing as it is supposed to. It shows that you are willingly submitting to me.  I have just got home from working hard and have come home to see that you are working just as hard, meeting me in the middle, both of working together, creating our strong family unit."

I used to be a depressive, I say 'used to', what I actually mean is that I am no longer on medication, but still flow in and out of negative thought patterns.  To quote Winston Churchill, the 'Black Dog' will never leave, but I am currently comfortable sat here with him in his cage, rather than massacring my face!

When the house is clean and organised, my husband said that it shows just how good I am doing in my mind.
It is the physical window into my mental state.

So last night, my darling boy came home to a tidy and clean house, his dinner cooked (a scrummy mezze plate of roast walnut and beetroot hummus, minty fallafal, puy lentil salad, green beans and char grilled aubergine brushcetta), his wife asleep within her curfew and his race suit darned (he takes part in motor racing and broke his suit.)

I wasn't there but I know he would have come home with a smile on his face!

At 1 am, I was conscious of him coming to bed.  He then performed another act whereby I am submissive and he is the dominant party!  In my sleepy state, I know it was his way of saying, 'yes, this lady is mine, I take care of her and she takes care of me.'

It's a great partnership, even if he does wake me up in the night!

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Unaware of my behaviour

J said to me yesterday, 'You need to show more contrition when I pull you up on something'.

Hmmmm, showing contrition, being contrite, is that something I can do?

Just to make sure he whipped this out and laid me across my large printing table in my studio! :(

Apparently instead of diligently saying, 'yes sir', 'no sir' in all of the right places, I have been rude, giggling and generally  not taking his leadership seriously.

I didn't quite realise I had been doing this.

OK so it is true that yesterday when he said 'STOP ANSWERING ME BACK', I replied with, 'Too late!'

And when he dragged me into our bedroom to give me a dressing down (both literally and metaphorically), I stood there giggling like a school girl! oops!

He told me, 'It is quite simple, when I tell you off for something, I am looking for some contrition, a sign that you are sorry.  If I don't see it I realise that I need to spank you'.

 Hang on, is this is? Have I found the magic formula?  So long as I show a sign that I am sorry, and show that I respect him, I won't end up, pants around ankles, and staring at the carpet???

I shall have to test this theory, I shall report back as soon as I have some evidence!


Friday, 17 August 2012

swatted at the family gathering

'Why have you bought those vitamins' I said with an accusatory tone, not befitting for a Dd wife.

'I beg your pardon' said my husband.

The guests in the room, my father and younger sister, who had popped round for tea, didn't notice the exchange.

I walked into the kitchen to put away the shopping that my husband had in his hand.

'I don't appreciate that tone in front of your family C', said my husband, fluffing himself up like a bird in front of me.

'And I don't appreciate you spending £20 on those when you eat a balanced diet, it's a waste of money'.

Aware that he was beginning to get angry and not wanting to castigate me in front of our guests he gave me the look and walked upstairs.

'Fine then walk away and sulk, that's very manly'. Woopsie, did I just say that?

'COME HERE' bellowed his voice from upstairs.

I excused myself to my family and went upstairs like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Smirking like a naughty embarrassed school girl I faced my husband in the bedroom. 

He towered a foot above me, a 6'7" giant of a man, not to be messed with. He began to lecture.

'You will not give me a dressing down in front of anyone, do you understand?' He said.

'Well, don't waste money on things that we don't need then'. I said.

Now there is a time when every Dd wife needs to know when to shut her mouth and finish her attitude before her husband finishes it for her.  I am not able to do this very often. When fueled by my female psyche I am empowered, obstinate, forthright and very unwilling to back down.

'Right, turn around.' Said my husband with the most stern tone I have ever heard.

'You can't spank me when my family are down stairs'. I said in shock.

'I said turn around and place your hands on the wall'. He said.

'Please don't, they will hear you' I said, turning around in complete disbelief.


'You will not speak to me with disrespect in front of anyone do you understand?'


He finished, placed the implement back in the cupboard and drew me into his arms.

I was feeling very sore, sorry for myself, sad and remorseful.

I then went down stairs and pretended to my family like nothing had happened.

They didn't hear anything.

And the moral of the story Ladies and Gentleman? Know when to stop nagging and moaning at my husband, or he will teach me when to stop!

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Spank free for three weeks

'Spank-free for three weeks' is what I wanted to be writing now, but alas it was not to be!

I literally realised yesterday that I had been three whole weeks without any kind of spanking, maintenance or otherwise - a record for me ladies and gentleman.

I managed to go over my curfew two nights in a row due to excessive internet use.  I know many wives may be thinking, 'gees this guy is strict why does she have a bed time like a child!'  Well I will tell you why, I have no self control.  Before my bedtime, I used to stay up till the early hours of the morning, be so tired the next day that I would be dosing on the sofa while my daughter played and watched television.  This does not make a good mother!

So my darling imposed a bedtime of 11pm, reasonable enough, I'm up at 7 with our little girl so the idea is that I get eight hours sleep.  I also have two hours of recreational internet in the evening, which doesn't seem enough when I am blogging etc, but alas I am addicted so my husband has good cause for this rule.

I am terrible at focusing on my expectations though when I am engrossed in something online.  Hence the two days of broken rules.

I was very disappointed not to make it to a spank free month, I have never been able to say that so far!

When I was a child I lived next to a quarry and outside there was a sign that said, 'we have been accident free for X number of days'.  I remember wondering who had had an accident on the days when we drove past to see 'we have been accident free for 0 days'.

It felt like that when the boss told me he would be spanking me.  I saw the sign 'I have been spank free for 21 days' slowly ticking over to 0 - darn it!

'I expect you to make it to four weeks now' said my spatula wielding husband! - I hope he's right!

Sunday, 5 August 2012

A water fight that I won!


The tires of the car screeched to a halt in the middle of the road and the big-boss-man turned to look at me with conviction, dominance and strength in his eyes.

Oh help! How did I get here, in the middle of the road, locked inside a car with the full wrath of my husband to contend with!

OK, lets rewind slightly and look at how me, my big mouth and my fiery attitude got me here.

My Dad and his lovely new girlfriend have been camping for two weeks in a town 45-minutes away from us, so my husband and I decided to take our little girl to see them.

We had a lovely day, BBQ, sat outside drinking Cava and Italian beer and having a lovely time with lovely lovely people.

Now the first problem here is once again my intolerance to alcohol! After a glass of fizz and a chilled bottle of beer, I was tiddly and giggling. (Oh dear won't I learn?)

The second problem is, remember how I have spoken about my naughty, cheeky and rebellious nature? - well it was inherited! My Dad is equally naughty, cheeky and likes to have a laugh! I was taught well in that area, though my husband may dispute how unnecessary it is!

My Dad and I used to spend summers making each other jump, hurling buckets of water on each other, when we weren't expecting it, and playing many practical jokes.

The problem is that neither of us know when to stop.

This afternoon was no exception.  Fueled by alcohol, I found a sole, uncooked mushroom sat on the grass, left over from the preparation of the BBQ and decided to hurl it at my father, when he wasn't looking.

He responded by, five minutes later, hurling a tomato at the back of my head!

Over the course of the day the food fight escalated, until I was hiding behind cars as corn on the cobs and potatoes were being hurled at me!

You see, with a parent like this, what does my husband expect me to be like!!!

Throughout all of this, my adorable, if slightly boring husband was sat in a deck chair watching with disapproval plastered all over his face!

My Dad's lovely girlfriend turned to me and said, 'right, you grab the barrel of water and I'll hold your Dad down'.

Well ladies and gentleman that is just a red rag to a bull, how could I say no to that? It would have been rude to do so!!!

My Dad saw me grabbing the giant water barrel (you know the type with a tap!) and, on seeing me removing the lid, he ran.

We chased him all over the field until he ran back to camp and jumped onto my husband's lap to hide, thinking foolishly that I wouldn't dare soak my husband.

For a micro second I considered not doing anything, but allowing someone to win in a food/water fight is not in my competitive nature.  In that second I deemed it acceptable to soak my husband, if only to win the battle  against my Dad!

Yup, I grabbed the entire barrel and tipped it over the heads of my father and husband!

Needless to say my husband WAS NOT amused.  He didn't even cock a smile! But he kept his composure and didn't flinch in company.  He told me off but left it at that.  My Dad's girlfriend said to me as we escaped to the bathroom, 'Oh dear, you are in trouble later!' (How does she know?)

The day went on, the boys dried out, I went to carry on the food fight and got a firm 'ENOUGH' from my husband.  We ate and chatted some more and then went to go home.

On our journey home I began to nag him.

'No you are going the wrong way...I think you should slow down....You are driving too close to that driver'.

It wasn't until I said, 'Oh great now we are lost again', that he hit the breaks.


At first I thought that he was turning around but no, he stopped the car, turned to me calmly and said in a scarily calm yet strong and commanding tone, 'You will STOP speaking to me with such disrespect, you will leave that attitude back at the campsite and be my submissive wife or I will take you straight upstairs when we get home and you will go over my knee.  Do you understand?'

I am not silly, this was clearly my choice, the moment when I chose to go down that road of submission and love and adoration for my husband or chose to be rude and end up over his knee.  Seeing as I only left boot camp a few days ago, it wasn't a difficult decision to make!

Since boot camp (I will post about it soon, when I muster the courage to do so), he hasn't spanked me, he hasn't needed to.  He is able to drive a message to me through words rather than force and I am more receptive to it! Perhaps it did work after all!